Can Two Marshmallows Make You Smarter, Happier, and Healthier? :)

If you mix a couple of spoonfuls of hot cocoa mix with a couple of spoonfuls of chai tea latte mix into your cup of hot milk you have an almost perfect ending to a day full of snow shoveling, baby tending, neighbor visiting, and house keeping.  Almost perfect but not quite.  To get to perfection I have found there are two other essential ingredients to your little bit of heaven you will soon be sipping on the milk-stained and graham cracker-crumbed couch.  One of these ingredients is the fluffy whipped topping that is often seen sitting atop yummy hot drinks.  The other of these ingredients is a bit less familiar.  In fact, until my mom plunked this ingredient into a little bowl she handed me with our traditional party mix and a few Christmas cookies ready for me to sample I had no clue that such a thing existed.  Laying scattered throughout my party mix and one with a leg lodged under a Santa cookie I first met the gingerbread marshmallows!  Shaped like little gingerbread boys, Jet Puff apparently came out with a new holiday marshmallow for this year.  As I peered down at them in my bowl, and my mom explained what they were, I admit I was a little skeptical that a gingerbread marshmallow would make the grade.  Too many things claim they are something-or-another 'flavored', and too many times if the taste is not just outright unpleasant then I find myself pondering if I can detect a hint of the 'flavor' purported.  Pinching one of the little guys in between my fingers I do the sniff test and admit that he does smell distinctly gingerbread-ish.  Assuming the chalking white dust, that I can only guess is to keep the little guys from sticking together in their bag, does not bode well as a taste indicator I plopped the squishy man into my mouth.  Mmmm. . .   . . .   . . . YUM!  He did, in fact, fit the gingerbread-flavored bill!  And as a contrast to our salty and spicy party mix I fell instantly in love with these scrumptious treats.  Not long after beginning my love affair with these sweet brown men I found myself wondering how he would perform in hot chocolate.  After confirming his excellence in hot chocolate I then began my experimentation stage.  And this is how we came to our cup of perfection.  So I described the mix of powders and the stirring into the milk, but the next steps must be followed very carefully in order to obtain 'just the right' taste of perfection.  First you place a layer of gingerbread men marshmallows on top of your hot cocoa/chai tea latte drink.  This allows them to melt into a lovely gingerbread-ey blob of goo.  Then you cover them in a thick cloud of whipped topping.  Finally, you strategically place one, or two if it has been a particularly long day, sweet little gingerbread man marshmallow on top of his fluffy white pillow.  Ahhhhhhh. 

Now if I could just wait a few minutes before I enjoy this lovely treat I will be a smarter, happier, healthier me. . .

In 1968, while on the faculty at Stanford University, Walter Mischel began what would become a decades' long study started with more than 500 four year old participants and trays full of marshmallows, cookies, and pretzel sticks.  This study became know as 'The Marshmallow Tests'.  The initial goal of the experiment was to identify the mental processes that allow some people to delay gratification while others simply give in to their impulses. A researcher would take a four year old into a small room in the Bing Nursery School on the Stanford University campus.  The room contained a desk, a chair, and the tray of treats.  The child was then asked to sit down in the chair and pick a treat.  The researcher told the child that he or she could either eat one treat  right away or, if he or she was willing to wait while the researcher stepped out for a few minutes, the child could have two treats when the researcher returned. The researcher then explained that if the child rang a bell on the desk while the researcher was away the researcher would come back right away, and the child could eat one treat but would give up the chance to have a second. Then the researcher left the room.

About 30 percent of the children studied successfully delayed gratification until the researcher returned 15 minutes later, but the remainder of the children couldn't control their impulses long enough to get the second treat.  Some of the children immediately ate the treat while others resisted it briefly, did not ring the bell, and then surrendered to their desire.  Most of the children appeared to struggle in resisting the treat and held out for an average of less than three minutes.

Initially, psychologists assumed the children’s ability to resist the urge to eat the treat depended on how much they desired the treat, but during the observations it was obvious that every child craved the extra treat. Mischel concluded that what determined the children's self-control was what he called "the crucial skill [of] 'strategic allocation of attention'.”  After hundreds of hours of observation researchers found that the children who were best able to resist the urge to eat the treat distracted themselves by covering their eyes, pretending to play hide-and-seek underneath the desk, or singing songs from “Sesame Street” rather than focusing on the treat.  Their ability to to refocus did not extinguish their desire, but it helped them avoid falling victim to their impulses.  Conversely, the children who tried to 'stare down' the treat ended up generally ringing the bell within 30 seconds or just eating the treat without ringing the bell at all. 

After publishing a few papers on the studies in the early seventies, Mischel, the Stanford professor of psychology in charge of the experiment, shifted his focus to other areas of personality research.  He explained, "There are only so many things you can do with kids trying not to eat marshmallows."

Mischel's three daughters all attended the Bing Nursery School, and he would occasionally ask them about their nursery school friends during "idle dinnertime conversation."  In talking about how their friends were doing, Mischel began observing a correlation between the children's ability to wait for the second treat in the nursery school study and their academic performance as adolescents. After talking with his daughters and asking them to assess their friends academically on a scale of 0 to 5 Mischel compared their informal ratings with the original data findings.  Beginning to see patterns emerging, in 1981 Mischel sent questionnaires to all the parents, teachers, and academic advisers that he could find of the six hundred and fifty-three subjects who had participated in 'The Marshmallow Tests.'  The subjects were in high school by that time, and he asked about traits such as their their capacity to plan and think ahead, their ability to "cope well with problems", and their ability to get along with peers. He also requested their S.A.T. scores.

Upon analyzing the results Mischel found the children who were able to wait fifteen minutes had higher educational achievements, were more likely to pursue goals, were less likely to abuse drugs, and had S.A.T. scores that averaged 210 points higher than the scores of the the children who were only able to wait 30 seconds.  The children who rang the bell quickly exhibited more behavioral problems, struggled in stressful situations, had trouble paying attention,  and found it difficult to maintain friendships.  Interestingly, 'The Marshmallow Tests' were better predictors of S.A.T. scores than IQ tests.  Findings showed them to be at least twice as predictive.  In following these subjects later into adulthood, Mischel found that at the age of 38 the subjects who had exhibited greater deferred gratification skills had lower rates of marital separation and divorces, fewer legal problems, and lower body-mass index numbers.  They were also less easily frustrated and side-tracked in their lives. 

Now that the subjects are in their mid-40s, Mischel and his research team are continuing to gather information about both the original subjects' lives and about the lives of their children, including studying MRIs of the subjects' brains.  Mischel has said, “We are beginning to clarify how changes in the cognitive representation of the object of desire changes the ability to control one’s own behavior.  It’s what allows people to resist the dessert that they swore to themselves they wouldn’t eat before they entered the restaurant … It connects to addictive behavior, obesity, the tobacco catastrophe.”

Mischel has done work showing children did much better on the marshmallow task after being taught simple “mental transformations," such as imagining putting a picture frame around the treats or pretending a marshmallow was a cloud.  The children were able to increase their ability to delay gratification by up to 15 minutes.  Mischel reported, “When we asked them how they were able to wait so well now, they said, ‘Well, you can’t eat a picture’."  What is unknown is whether or not these new skills will generalize across all domains of their lives.  Will the tasks the children learn work only during the experiments or are they able to apply them at home or school when faced with decision-making such as completing homework vs. texting friends or playing video games online or skipping classes with friends vs.joining clubs and extra-curricular activities? 

Mischel asserts, “This is where your parents are important."  Children can be taught techniques to improve their self-control and ability to defer gratification, but the techniques require practice to perfect them.  Mischel describes normal family routine, structure, and rules such as not snacking before dinner, saving allowance or gifts of money rather than spending them immediately, and waiting to open gifts on birthdays or Christmas morning rather than earlier as exercises in cognitive training that parents can use to help their children be successful in their future lives.

Mischel’s findings are currently being applied in many fields.  From early education, economics, finance, and risk-taking, to mental health which is working to understand and address behavior problems and personality disorders, marshmallow management may be the answer. 

And since I have been working on this blog for more than 15 minutes without too much frustration and without ringing a bell I think I have earned my second gingerbread marshmallow man.  Now what was that about marshmallows and body-mass index?. . .


Enjoy with your hot chocolate and marshmallows!: 

The Death of Happiness: Killing Our Children's Futures Device by Device

"Friendship? Yes Please." 

                                        ~ Charles Dickens

Now more than seven decades old, one of the longest continuous studies in the history of American Research is the Harvard Study of Adult Development, and one significant finding from this study is that a key to raising happy children and being happy adults is friendship.  

Collecting more objective evidence on the subject than researchers of any other study, The Harvard Study of Adult Development began in 1937, examining more than 268 physically healthy and "well-adjusted" Harvard sophomores.  Following its subjects for more than 70 years, this study has become the preeminent example of a longitudinal study.  Including the original study beginning in 1937, the study’s longtime director, George E. Vaillant, M.D. Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, has studied adult development, including the lives of more than 800 men and women for over 60 years.  The consistent findings of all of this study show successful relationships are the closest thing researchers have been able to identify as the most significant key to happiness. Positive relationships beginning as early as childhood have shown to be the most important predictors of happiness and success as people age.

Brain science tells us that one way to make and keep friends is to be good at interpreting non-verbal communication.  Doing this accurately takes years of experience in face-to-face interaction with human beings, and studies in neurobiology have shown studying and playing a musical instrument increases this ability.  

Pausing to highlight two significant things I just said. . .

Doing this accurately takes years of experience in face-to-face interactions with human beings

and

studies in neurobiology have shown studying and playing a musical instrument increases this ability

Pausing to review what I just retyped. . .

Okay.  Nope.  Just making sure.  Still not there.  Text-messaging, internet chatting, status-updating, mp3 player-listening, television-watching, and video game-playing are not there.  Interestingly enough, these things don't fall into the 'face-to-face interactions' or 'studying and playing a musical instrument' categories.  So now I will pause for you to consider the implications that having increasingly plugged-in lifestyles has on our children's skills in making and keeping friends and, subsequently, on their current and future happiness.  

. . .Still considering?

And now I will pause for you to consider the implications that having families and parents and caregivers who fail to recognize, acknowledge, and/or take responsibility for managing technology in their homes has on our children's skills in making and keeping friends and, subsequently, on their current and future happiness.

. . .Still considering?

Children's ability to recognize and respond to non-verbal cues, forge and maintain significant relationships, and build future long-term happiness is being inhibited by texting, online chatting, and the assortment of other technological activities that are being done in front of screens rather than participating in activities or one-on-one face-to-face interactions with live human beings.  Sorry, 'Guitar Hero' does not count as playing a musical instrument.

What is it going to take for adults to begin showing concern and accountability for their laziness, apathy, and immaturity in parenting their children and become motivated enough to take action to make necessary changes?  Investment in your children's lives is not about dollars and cents.  Parenting is an verb, not a noun.  Parenting is hard work, emotionally-laden, and a challenge to be the grown-up.  Is it easier to give in to badgering about cell phones and game systems and wireless gadgets and gizmos?  Is the guilt gone about your long hours at work, or your depressed mood, or having your children grow up watching bickering parents?  Is your life "all better" because you didn't risk having your children not 'like' you or see you as 'cool'?  More importantly, are your children's lives better?  In an increasingly instant-gratification driven society do you sacrifice long-term happiness for 'happy now for now'?  Grow up.

Educational success ('Wake Up, It's Time for School') and now lifetime happiness.  What will be the next casualty of your teched-out home?

. . .plug in, turn on, and stay tuned.

Wake Up, It's Time for School

The 'Huffington Post' reported on 12/07/10, "Citing concerns over the country's education performance compared to other nations, and the long-term impact of the shortcomings on the future economic viability of the country, the Obama Administration has pushed for comprehensive reforms.

According to the AP,

"This is an absolute wake-up call for America," U.S. Education Secretary Arne Duncan said in an interview with The Associated Press. "The results are extraordinarily challenging to us and we have to deal with the brutal truth. We have to get much more serious about investing in education." "

Reforms? Investing? We do have to get much more serious. It is time for parents and families or caregivers to lay the blame squarely where it belongs. If they would pause their whining and complaining about the state of the educational system they could hear the faint whirrings and beepings and tap-tap-clickings that lead across their doorsteps and straight into the center of their own homes. . .desktop computers and laptops and notebooks, cell phones and game systems, and MP3 players. Pixels and screens and sound-bytes, logins and passwords and user accounts.

How many homes have a dictionary? And I don't mean online or via smart phone. What about a Thesaurus? I can still feel the thin onion-type paper pages of the old blue dictionary that sat on the bookshelf beside my father's chair for as long as I can remember. His mother bought that dictionary when she attended nursing school, and it was passed down to my father as he studied late nights after working long days for his Masters Degree. That dictionary with the worn blue cloth cover was the dictionary I looked to for spelling and definitions and the assortment of other interesting information and facts held in one of the many charts and graphs at the back of the book. I lost track of how many times I heard my dad's familiar words, "Look it up," and how many times I sat cross-legged on the floor or curled up on the couch absorbing the answers to the same questions countless little girls before me had asked countless daddies before mine. Consumed in my own world of wonder and worries and excitement and plans that is appropriate for children, I am certain I never considered the years and years and more-years-than-I-could-imagine that busy hands flipped through well-worn pages of dictionaries in homes much like mine and not so much like mine. And now consumed in my own world of wonder and worries and excitement and plans that is appropriate for mommies, I am amazed at the importance one book can have in a home. One very memorable night I argued with my father over bananas. Why, of course, everyone knew they were fruits. Except for my dad who told me I was quite wrong and to "Look it up." With a shake of my head and certainly a big huff and a sigh I plunked down on the floor to flip to "banana." I wish I could have seen my father's face as he sat in his chair behind my back while I read the words that I knew would prove my superior intelligence. . ."perennial herb". WHAT??? This was a beginning to just one of many many wonderful and interesting conversations I have had with my dad over my lifetime. And our worn blue dictionary oftentimes played a role in our talks as I was growing up. I found out peanuts grew under the ground and confirmed that tomatoes were fruits. I never asked my parents how to spell something and heard them spell it out to me. Instead I heard. . ."Look it up." Which means I had to know how to alphabetize. I learned that if I wanted to know the meaning of some unknown word in a book I was reading the answer was waiting for me in an old worn dictionary. And as I copied spellings and read definitions I saved this information from this amazing book somewhere in my memory. And it became knowledge.

When I began college I remember using another dictionary for the first time. A collegiate dictionary was on my required book list so I purchased one along with all of my text books from the bookstore on campus. As exciting as it was to have this new red book which had a spine that had never been creased and a title across the front attesting that I was a real college student as I now owned a real collegiate dictionary, I remember my thoughts wandering to home and knowing that a beautiful old blue dictionary was still sitting there on the bookshelf next to my father's chair. By the time I began graduate school computer monitors were still as big as small tvs, and the world wide web was a strange new concept that hadn't quite showed up yet. Spellcheck was included on some computer programs, but online dictionaries were a vision of the future scribbled in someone's spiral-bound notebook. Thank goodness. Because of my parents and because of that old blue dictionary I am a good speller who won the third grade spelling bee, my vocabulary is pretty good, and I love words.

So now how many homes have a dictionary? How many parents or families take responsibility for their children's education with the ways they guide and teach and interact with their kids? What examples are they setting? Why are Leapfrog and V-Tech in business? Why are there 9,880,000 results for "interactive educational kids' online games" on a popular internet search engine? What happened to flash cards and museums and zoos and planetariums? What happened to drawing and singing and playing and reading together? What happened to "interactive education" being about what is going on in the home with everyday interactions being teaching opportunities? . . .Or perhaps they are. Many children are growing up with families who are more connected to technology than to one another. Parents are using their smart phones around their children, and text messages, telephone calls, emails, and other social-networking interrupt interactions and conversations. I have seen parents walking down sunny sidewalks with children in tow while chattering away at the phone between their ear and shoulder. I have seen children eating in silence at restaurant tables while their parents stare at handheld screens while type-type-typing away. I have seen children tugging at their plugged-in parents' arms in unsuccessful attempts to get their attention for some amazing-to-a-child thing that crosses their path.

The "educational system" is in crisis? The educational system is a victim to lazy, apathetic, self-focused parents who refuse to manage technology use in their homes and do not accept responsibility for raising their children. For them, their responsibility stops at paying the bills and buying things. It is easier to plug their children in to some device with information rather than provide it themselves. Children and teenagers rely on Spellcheck and drop-down menus with auto-correct options. Search engines provide answers to questions that are mangled misspelled fragments by 'helpfully' "showing results for. . ."what should have been typed correctly. A glance and a quick click of a button is only one example of how the emphasis in learning has shifted from deep-thinking or processing to obtaining superficial knowledge fast. This process change effects people's memory and knowledge retention. Why would children be invested in putting in the time and effort to remember something when they can just 'search' for it again?

China and South Korea have declared internet addiction their number one public health threat. The United States' refusal to address or even acknowledge the very real existence of this problem underscores "the brutal truth" about the concern for and the commitment to the often lamented educational "crisis."

This "is an absolute wake-up call for America."

whirrrrr, beeeeep, tap-tap-click. . .Is anyone listening?

Murdering Peek-A-Boo

Piercing shrieks of joy and infectious fits of giggles dance through the air as three beautiful children crawl and toddle and tumble over me, each other, and countless toys littering the floor of the bedroom. Two shirts that have not made it into the dresser yet have been liberated from the laundry basket and are now priceless treasures clutched in somewhat sticky fingers and catching under knees and feet as they are determinedly being transported to their destination. With our bedtime story finished it would normally be time for kisses and hugs and rides in Mommy's arms to bed. But someone came skirting around the bed with a mischievous grin and a shirt to begin our newest favorite game - Peek-A-Boo. If one shirt is great fun then two is even more exciting so here comes baby number two with shirt number two and an impossible-to-ignore light of love in his eyes.

Sometime during the last few weeks the babies have discovered the joy of playing Peek-A-Boo. As children can be, they are most resourceful and will work together to push the side of their play-yard until they have gotten close enough to the couch to reach a blanket and pull it back through the bars or grasp a pillow and launch it over the top. If these items are not accessible they have been resourceful in using clean diapers, washrags, small cloth wipies, or most recently socks, shirts, or any other article of clothing within reach of baby hands. After securing a necessary cloth item to begin the game then someone places the item either on his or her own head or on someone else's head. If possible, covering more than one head at the same time is even more fun! A quick snatch at the veil to reveal the face underneath it results in a laughing symphony so lovely you find yourself holding your breath hoping it never ends. Just as much fun as revealing a face is the simple act of arranging the item on your own head or on someone else's head. And as socks do not provide quite the same coverage as blankets, and shirts have pesky sleeves that tangle and dangle about, covering the head or face is really just a general idea. Oftentimes the head and face are left uncovered completely as the Peek-A-Boo veil drapes around the back of a neck or flops over an ear. But no matter. The end result is the same - smiles and laughter and joy for as long as someone will play this wonderful exciting amazing game with you.

According to a study done by German Psychologist Dr. Michael Titze, children smile and laugh spontaneously 300 to 400 times a day while adults smile and laugh less than 15 times a day. Additionally, fifty years ago people laughed 18 minutes a day; however, today they laugh for only six minutes a day.

From the first day that I stopped in my tracks to watch this perfect joy that three babies were creating I pondered, and mentioned to others, and pondered some more a question that wouldn't leave me alone, "What in the world happens to us?" Not yet having seen search engines giving up page after page of references to studies supporting this finding that children smile 300 to 400 times a day while adults only smile less than 14 or 15 times a day, I wondered at my realization that something happens somewhere along the way that murders the joy of Peek-A-Boo.

What do we do to babies and children, or what do we do to ourselves that the joy of something like playing Peek-A-Boo is killed and replaced with the demand for more More MORE??? People have developed a sense of entitlement that breeds a "need" to be constantly stimulated in order to feel entertained. They must be constantly plugged in or turned on. Computers and MP3 players and video games are required. Television must include HD and cable and DVR. Cell phones must have internet access, and text messaging, and games, and calendars, and maps, and music, and books, and. . . Anything less is not enough. Blankets and socks lay forgotten, and silly food-smeared faces of people we love stay covered while empty hearts and thoughtless minds passively await their smile allotment from boxes and screens and little hand-held gizmos.